058 - Hello Kitty, Goodbye Stress
A cozy game, a small identity crisis, and way too many virtual gifts
It’s pretty obvious by now (at least to me), that every couple of months I find a new obsession: journals, tradewartok, BRAT summer!!!?? nostalgia, fragrance bros etc.
This month, I’m almost a little shy to say, I became slightly fixated with the very cozy Hello Kitty Island Adventure. Cozy games have been having a moment for a while now: Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, etc. I honestly don’t know any others, and I’m not going to pretend like I’m an expert. But while the benefits have always seemed obvious, I think (at the time) I really needed what they had to offer. I played for one sitting and was hooked immediately.
The gamification of self care
For a cozy game, it was surprisingly addictive. It was addictive to sit down after a long day and just not think of anything. My tasks were extremely simple: Give my (digital) friends their daily gifts, water my plants, and complete (some very EASY) quests. The game constantly rewarded me for the simplest actions. Water a plant? Ding! Give Kuromi her favorite gift? I can literally see my friendship level with her increase, another gift.
The game was therapeutic. For a chronically online person, it was nice not to doomscroll, and be on my phone all the time. A welcome escape from life's less easy parts, to focus on what I could control.
There was something deeply satisfying about a pocket-sized world. Where tasks have clear beginnings and ends, unlike real life's problems and ambiguous deadlines. It was a strong reminder of the quiet rules we follow even in real life: wake up, work, be a decent human, feed ourselves. It was a reminder to find the comfort in these rituals we often take for granted.
Soft (Game) Power
We're in the golden age of cozy gaming—digital spaces offering warm hugs rather than adrenaline rushes. Animal Crossing has 38 million copies (since launching), and Stardew Valley sold 41 million. In our chaotic world, these pixelated havens offer what we're desperately craving: control, predictability, and the gentle affirmation that sometimes, small accomplishments are enough.
As adults with adult money and free will, many of us are turning to the games “to heal our inner child…and enjoy these wholesome games as a form of self-care and de-stressing from all the anxiety that being an adult brings.”
The player base skews female, and spans generations and includes many players who don’t identify as traditional gamers. Cosmopolitan found that “55 percent of gender-categorized online mentions around cosy games are from female authors versus 25 percent of general gaming conversations." It’s a dramatic shift from the traditional gaming demographics, signalling not just a change in who plays, but in the values are shaping the future of play.
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Community by Design: The Social Fabric of cozy games
So cozy games aren’t just cute or relaxing. They reflect a digital version of the soft life we crave, centring around care, community and gentleness in our culture obsessed with optimisation, productivity and self-branding.
In Cozy Games and Resistance Through Care, these games are thought to offer ‘regenerative play’, “fostering feelings of affection, curiosity and commitment” that extends beyond the game itself.
When you think about it, these digital experiences reimagine traditional folk practices. Watering my virtual plants, helping out in the small island, and gifting presents to friends, are all rituals that help build and foster community.
They reflect a deep human instinct to connect, to contribute, and to show up for each other in small, consistent ways. Participating in community rituals—even digital ones—has real psychological benefits. They give structure to our days. They reduce loneliness. This desire for connection extends beyond the game itself. The subculture found its home on reddit with r/Cozygamers having 273,000 community members who share their own stories about the games they play.
Cozy games offer a form of social healing. They push back against hustle culture and hyper-individualism. They invite us into slower rhythms, and show us that connection, not productivity, is what actually sustains us. In that sense, they’re not just games, they’re a form of quiet resistance.
From game to life
And to be fair, playing the game made me feel like things in life were easier. It reframed how I thought about my own challenges. Break them up into small pieces, and get through them bit by bit. I’d been feeling a little lost, a little untethered. and it was a comfort to find structure and control, even if it was through a digital world.
And while a cozy game didn’t magically fix anything, it gave me just enough structure and softness to gently guide me back to myself.
field notes
ARTICLES: looooove this article, by Haley Nahmen, “What does it mean to self-identify with your artistic output, or marketing concepts, or public reception? What is sacrificed when your primary mode of relating to the world is by way of attention received rather than by attention exchanged?” This one, on music “I began thinking that the way I listen to music—constantly—might not be the best use of my wild and precious life. That it might be a crutch.” Sean Monahan’s issue a vacation from the future is a very very good read. Also, I know everyone in Amsterdam is aware of havermelkelite, but i’ve been practicing my Dutch by subscribing to his newsletter. I too was gefascineerd (Fascinated) by the nhogirl influencer event to eat omakase on bright white duvet sheets, whilst trampling on it with shoes. if fascinated meant confused and offended. okay, last one. An essay on hunger and slang. Also please follow my friends new substack all about interior decoration trends. Get ready some exciting bits!
BOOKS: I FINALLY finished Shogun (the book). WOW. I thank the sun mostly for putting on a glorious show, so that I could comfortably finish the last 7 chapters on the terrace. I also finally bought a non-fiction book which I’ve been thinking about for a while (procrastination), called Bad Taste. A bunch of essays that explore how aesthetic can be leveraged against us by institutions. Also re-reading Jane Eyre like a nerd.
WATCH: JW Anderson’s Fashion Neurosis podcast reminded me about how I grew up and found identity with what I wore. Did anyone watch Louis Theroux’s new docu on Israel? I also really want to watch #1 Happy Family USA which has illustrations from Mona Chalabi, and was created by Ramy. Also i finally finished the final season of You. I have so much to say about this that doesn’t fit in field notes but I could argue that the series unravelled much like Joe did. That twist in the middle got me SO shocked. Also, Charli XCX in the clips of Overcompensating was so good.
RANDOM: Clone, a joint project from Dirt and boysclub is a report that aggregates interesting and curious links every hour for you. read more about it here. You know i love just everything about palestinian singer, Nehmasis. she’s eloquent, she’s artistic, she’s legendary. This interview gave me the chills as to how she and her siblings navigated listening to music in a muslim household. the adoption of conclave into popculture. Paris Hilton gifted a fan a new car after the fan’s car caught on fire and it was very hot. Also who are these two icons. and an artist made a demographic breakdown of a chinese restaurant in malaysia. Did you also see Zoe Bread’s social media campaign to get Manchester City Council to fix the visibility of a parking sign with a toy car?
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